It’s called White Space Time!
(You can read this article in the SF BAWJ magazine here.)

by Michelle Lisenbury Christensen and
Sara Harvey Yao

It’s a special kind of appointment with yourself:  you protect it from any pre-set agenda.  Crazy as it sounds to block out an hour (or three) when you don’t plan to do anything in particular, it really helps women find equilibrium and get amazing things done.

Your To-Do List Expands to Fill Your Time

Have you noticed that your to-do list expands to fill the time you have? That you feel like you never have a moment free? 

Take an open or “white” time on your calendar and block it so it STAYS open!  Then when you get to that appointment in your calendar, you will find a gift to yourself…freedom. 

You now have time before you, and the opportunity to ask, “What do I really want to do with this time?  What do I need right now?”  If you’re disciplined enough to give yourself full permission to follow those desires (instead of checking e-mail or ticking off errands that aren’t your deepest desire), surprising things begin to happen. 

White Space Makes Time for Amazing Things to Happen

One of our clients needed to get a marketing plan created.  What he really wanted to do during his White Space was go to the driving range.  Within two days, he got a great idea for the marketing plan, because he’d cleared his head while hitting golf balls. 

Another began writing again after a long dry spell, because she used her White Space to daydream about her perfect life and realized she needed a space to write in.  Right then – because she had the time – she cleared a spot in her guest room and created a nook where she now writes each morning.

Come Up for Air with White Space

White Space is a place to come up for air during your busy work week.  It helps you to not feel so “behind,” the same way a $100 bill in your wallet makes you feel abundant, even if you don’t spend it.  

Here’s How You Do It: 

 1. Find a block of 1-4 hours (more, if you dare!) that’s not already committed, and reserve it.  Take it from “blank” on your calendar to an appointment – with yourself.

2. If any other uses for the time come up, deflect them.  Tell others you’re committed.  Remember that this time is deeply important, even if it feels indulgent.

3. Show up.

4. Give yourself permission not to be productive, not to do it “right,” not to meet any pre-conceived linear notion of what you should do.

5. Ask yourself, “What would I really like to do with this time?”

6. Do THAT.

Take the White Space Challenge

People who’ve committed to taking White Space at least once a week for three weeks have reported phenomenal changes in their energy, focus, and feelings of satisfaction.  You can read some of their stories at whitespacetime.com.  We hope you’ll join them and let us know what happens when you take the White Space Challenge.

Michele Lisenbury Christensen and Sara Harvey Yao are the authors of “Succeeding without Side Effects:  Burnout-Proof Your Leadership and Life” and the “White Space Time” audio program.  They help business owners and executives create more success with fewer side effects.  Their retreats and seminars for women are transformative and deeply rejuvenating.  They can be found online at WorkingWithPower.com .

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by Kristin Southwick
CA Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

How do you balance these competing roles and keep your head above water without feeling depleted at the end of the day?

This article is part 1 of a 4 part series that will help you learn ways to create structure and balance in your life. Today we’ll focus on the workplace. Future articles will discuss finding time to nurture and care for yourself, ways to balance relationships, and family life.

Career Demands versus Home Demands

A common issue that I often hear is the high-stress conflict of dealing with career demands and expectations while balancing that with home demands and expectations.  One of the best ways to help yourself navigate these two key issues is to set boundaries. Start by developing clear boundaries around your work life. Whether in a corporate setting, your own home, or anywhere in between you should be realistic and clear with yourself about what you can feasibly accomplish.

5 Tips to Help You Balance Your Work Life

1. Listen to your body. Your body will give you some great clues into how you are affected by external factors. For example does your stomach turn or do you clench your teeth when you think about the conflict of going home at a reasonable hour versus staying to finish a high priority assignment? Let your body guide you to set limits where you can.  If that means leaving at a certain time of day, then prioritize your tasks and focus on what needs to be completed before the end of the day.

2. Create boundaries that will help you manage others who are pressuring you into taking on more than you feel comfortable doing.

For example, if something is asked of you that goes beyond your job role and duties, a clear limit will help you be prepared with an appropriate response. Tell the person you will get back to them with an answer.  This allows you to walk away from the situation, take a moment to consider what is being asked, and how long it will take to complete the task.  It also provides an opportunity to consider if the time investment is one that will have a positive career impact.

3. Offering to do more than expected at your job can cause you to end up feeling overwhelmed and resentful. But it’s easy to get caught up in the moment and “accidentally” put yourself into that situation.  Work at implementing helpful strategies that support you on these kinds of occasions.  Try counting to 10 before you jump in or perhaps you need to take 5 minutes to step away, catch your breathe and then decide the next steps.

4. Ask for others to help if too much responsibility is being put on you and be open with what you need to successfully complete your job.

5. Lastly, it is essential to remember that when you have multiple assignments being given to you in a day or even an hour, it’s important to create a structure that will help you manage your workflow. If you’re feeling overwhelmed or that you just need a break then allow yourself to take 5 minutes to just breathe and catch-up.  The key is to not procrastinate and to help yourself stay focused and organized.

Renewed Energy

You’ll find an abundance of renewed energy when you take more control of your work life.   I would like to encourage you to start by considering these suggestions.  Just choose one idea that resonates with you and add it into your day to day responsibilities. You’ll be amazed at how much that one little action will help you to feel more in control of your life and feeling renewed energy for yourself, your family, and your relationships!

If you enjoyed this article, you can find Part 2 of this series on Work Life Balance…Making Time for You here!

Kristin Southwick is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with the CA Board of Behavioral Science and received her Master’s from John F. Kennedy University. She has a private practice in San Francisco and Burlingame.

Kristin believes therapy is a meaningful experience that offers a supportive and confidential space to explore aspects of one’s life and relationships. She provides brief and long term counseling services to children, adolescent, adults, couples, and families. For more information regarding Kristin’s practice, please visit her website, KristinSouthwick.com.

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by Michele Lisenbury Christensen and Sara Harvey Yao

Amelia is a manager at a company that sells images.  She recently got a promotion without applying for the new position.  “They said I was picked because I know how to connect with people, even while I’m producing results.” 

Amelia is one of our many clients – male, as well as female – who are finding that their capacity to bring enjoyment, caring, and ease into the workplace are valued even more now that tensions are running high and resources are scarce.

Feminine + Masculine = Turbo Charged Success

At first, women can be afraid to bring more of their feminine power to work.  Women think of their masculine power – driving, pragmatism, focus, providing, and so on – as the secret of their success.  And those elements of power are key to producing results. 

But when they learn to use both the masculine qualities and their feminine counterparts (receiving, sensuality, holism, and nurturing) women find their success is turbo-charged! A dynamic synergy emerges when both the masculine and feminine powers are integrated.

Melinda, a marketing manager for a wireless company, says

“I’m blown away by how much easier it is to drive for results now that I also use my feminine power.  I’ve got more energy, things are more fun, and results happen much more easily.”

Feminine + Masculine in Action

Some of the ways that Melinda and our other clients have learned to bring both Masculine and Feminine power to work include:

Conduct Effective Meetings:  When you lead a meeting, run it on time and using a good agenda (masculine qualities). Add the feminine by making sure there’s something visually appealing in the room.  Also allow for personal connection and appropriate humor in the meeting.   The combination of the masculine and feminine will bring more energy and ease, especially for difficult or complex meeting topics.

Listen First:  When employees come to you with problems there is a tendency to offer solutions (masculine quality). But quite often the best approach is to use the feminine qualities of  listening, empathizing, and letting the person find their own solution. Often, all that’s needed is the space to vent and then they see the way forward.

Seek Ease: Our work cultures have all of us driving for results and working in a self-reliant way (masculine qualities). While this is an important aspect of success; when it’s the only approach,  we end up missing out on other ways to creatively solve the problem.  And even more importantly we find ourselves depleted.

When you start feeling yourself “pushing and shoving” to solve the problem, that’s a sign to pause and ask, “How could this be easier?” and “Who can help with this?”  That’s feminine awareness in action.

As you start to apply both your feminine and masculine qualities, you’ll find that you produce even better results and feel energized.  Your ability to drive for results will be strengthened as you activate your power to receive, to connect, to use holism and sensuality, and nurture yourself and others. 

Your enjoyment of your job and your life will expand and your job security along with them!

Michele Lisenbury Christensen and Sara Harvey Yao are the authors of “Succeeding without Side Effects:  Burnout-Proof Your Leadership and Life.”  They provide executive coaching, training, and lively keynote presentations for co-ed audiences who want more success with fewer side effects.  Their retreats and seminars for women are transformative and deeply rejuvenating.  They can be found online at WorkingWithPower.com.

If you enjoyed this article and want to share it with a friend or the world:) …it’s easy. Click on the Share/Save button and you can e-mail, Tweet or Bookmark it!

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by Nikki Anderson
Founding Partner and Coach at Think Feel Know

Nikki Anderson

I used to think this was a sign that I was doing something wrong or that I wasn’t in the right profession.

I’ve since come to realize that what I’m really craving is some time off –time away with a new routine and a change of scenery.    It doesn’t necessarily need to be a long vacation or even for several days – a day or two often will do the trick! 

Recharge Your Life

There are 5 main things I notice that happen for me when I take ‘time out’ from my day-to-day life. Increased reflection, relaxation, creativity, refueling and desire…which bring me back to a deep appreciation for my life.

1. Reflection 

When I get away I have time to reflect on my life.   I can think about my relationships, my work, my health, hobbies, etc….  this is an optimal time for me to take stock of how my life has been going and whether there’s anything I want to shift.  

It’s also an optimal time to notice the great things that have been happening as I find it so seductive to get caught up in the ‘what’s next cycle’. 

2.  Relaxation 

I don’t even realize how tense I am and how fast I move through my days until I have some distance from my regular routine.   When I take breaks I am able to catch this. I can then reign it back in to moving slower, being more deliberate in my actions and feeling more centered.  

3.  Creativity 

When I take time off I’m giving my mind a break.  I have less clutter spinning through my head and more space is available for day dreaming.    When I allow myself the space to dream, new ideas are generated and I’m once again re-energized and inspired.  

4.  Refueling  

In the daily grind it’s easy to get caught up in all the ways I need to give of my time and energy – forgetting to take deliberate time to replenish.   Having time away is a great way to put concentrated energy toward doing the things that refuel my tank – such as:  taking a nap (without setting an alarm),  taking a bath, going for a hike in nature (with no place I ‘have’ to get to).   

Refueling is necessary for me to be of service to others in my life and work without feeling tapped out.  

5. Desire  

After a “time-out”, I’m more able to clearly see all the great things about life.  Because I’m no longer running on empty…my desire for my life – my work, my relationships and my routine all return with new vigor.   I now have a new appreciation and feeling of gratitude for my life.

You don’t need a lot of money to ‘get away’ – a day trip or even one over night will do the trick!   Don’t let excuses stop you from taking a break and recharging ….  You may just wind up with a whole new appreciation for you life!    Try it!  

Love,

Nikki

Nikki Anderson is a founding partner and a coach within Think Feel Know, USA. Her specialty is working with entrepreneurs, executive women, teams within small to medium sized businesses that are ready to grow to the next level. She is skilled at coaching individuals and groups and facilitating workshops, trainings and meetings to elicit connection, unity and clarity, resulting in forward action and bottom-line results.

Nikki is passionate about many things in her life although, at the core are health and wellness – her foundation. She is active in 12-step recovery work and is passionate about helping others to not only overcome their addictions but also to thrive in their life. You can learn more by visiting CoachNikki and ThinkFeelKnow.

If you enjoyed this article and want to share it with a friend or the world:) …it’s easy. Click on the Share/Save button and you can e-mail, Tweet or Bookmark it!

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by Michele Lisenbury Christensen and Sara Harvey Yao

Michele Lisenbury and Sara Harvey Yao

One of the perspectives that helps women like you (and us) is the recognition that in our pursuit of career and personal success, we may not have been using all our power.

Traditionally, we have spoken of power using terms that describe masculine traits.  For instance, powerful might mean assertive, decisive, independent, driving, and pragmatic. 

Words like relating, gratitude, caring, inclusion, or curiosity didn’t seem to fit with our definition of power. 

These words describe more feminine aspects of power.  In order to use all of our power, we have to incorporate both masculine and feminine Elements of Power into our sense of what’s powerful. 

Move from Stress to Ease

After coaching male and female leaders for ten years, we developed the 12 Elements of Power as a tool for ourselves and our clients.  The Elements were our way of articulating and understanding the feminine traits we intuitively knew were powerful, but that haven’t been defined as such. 

We discovered that when we are able to integrate both feminine and masculine Elements of Power, we move from stress to ease.

12 Elements of Power

There are six pairs of Elements of Power.  Each pair relates to one key area of our lives and work and has a feminine and  masculine Element of Power.  Masculine power is assertive, observable and directive.  Feminine Power is receptive, subtle, and contained.

It’s not a man/woman thing, rather more like Yin/Yang.  Everyone has all 12 Elements of Power available at any time. 

Elements of Power in Action

The Elements describe behavior, attitude or energy in a given situation.  For instance, Nurturing and Providing are the feminine and masculine elements, respectively, in the How We Relate to Others pair. When someone tells you about their day, your behavior and attitude may be focused on making room for them to talk and feel their feelings, demonstrating nurturing.  Or you may offer ideas, solutions, and perspectives, which would demonstrate providing. 

Which one is better?  Neither.  What matters is whether you used the Element of Power that met the needs of the moment. 

In many situations, we’re conditioned to use our masculine power.  If that doesn’t work, we turn up the intensity.  Our clients learn and demonstrate that putting the feminine power first conserves their energy and makes more room for those around them. 

Letting someone vent, for instance, often allows them to come to a broader perspective on their own, and it’s a lot less work than “bringing them around” by providing.  Other times, once they’ve vented, they’re ready to hear your good ideas for how to proceed.

Balance Creates Ease!

It’s been said that a strength overused becomes a liability.  This recognition helps explain the source of many of our headaches and struggles at work and at home:  when we overuse one Element of Power, it goes funky on us.  For instance, a quality like assertiveness can turn into aggression when overused. 

Any aspect of your life that isn’t working can be traced to an under-use or over-use of your power.  But once you understand all the power that’s at your disposal, you can quickly correct for these imbalances by activating new Elements of Power and picking the right tool for the job at hand. 

Experiment with your power, and enjoy the ways you can have success without it running you ragged.

Michele Lisenbury Christensen and Sara Harvey Yao are founders of Working with Power, LLC, a consulting and training firm dedicated to helping companies retain and develop great people and great teams. To learn more please visit their website, WorkingWith Power.

If you enjoyed this article and want to share it with a friend or the world:) …it’s easy. Click on the Share/Save button and you can e-mail, Tweet or Bookmark it!

Related posts:

1. The New Path to Job Security: Bringing Feminine Power to Work
2. Create Peace and Productivity in Your Life with White Space Time!
3. The Death of Feminism: Rediscovering Polarity in Relationship!