San Francisco Womens Journal » Parenting

Keep Your Kids Safe Online: Empower Them to Make Good Choices!

SFWJ — Wed, 31 Mar 2010 13:16:39 +0000

Technology has changed the way we interact, especially our teens. Many parents are trying to catch up with their kids in understanding how they are playing and using computers, cell phones, and other technology. It’s natural for teens to think they know all of the dangers or worse, they are immune or invincible to problems online.

by Carrie Silver-Stock
Teen Expert and Award Winning Author

Carrie Silver-Stock

Talk to Your Kids About Online Safety!

This makes talking to them even more important! The key action you can take to keep your kids safe online…is to “empower” them to make good choices.

In my last article I shared information that parents need to know about their kids and online safety. In this article I’d like to offer tips that you can use to begin empowering conversations with your kids!

Following are 7 tips on how to do just that!

1. Create Positive Ongoing Discussions

Start conversations about online safety as soon as your kids are interacting online. Keep them conversational so your kids feel empowered to share input and ideas, while listening to new things you might share.

2. Discuss the Dangers

Don’t be afraid to discuss the dangers with your kids. Approach this conversation in an empowering way.

Ask for their input first about stories or problems they’ve seen or heard about from their friends. This will keep them involved and engaged.

As you discuss the dangers, you may be surprised to learn how much your child already knows.

3. Kids Forget What They Post is Permanent

Teens can be impulsive. It’s easy for them to get caught up in the moment and forget pictures and words they post online are permanent. Remind them that even if they delete a picture, they have no idea where in the digital world that picture is stored, or who has already forwarded that image.

Encourage your kids to consider that anyone can see the picture or read their words including their peers, teachers, employers, or future college.

4. Remind Them Online Identities are Misleading

When young people are online it’s easy for them to forget that they never really know who they’re talking with. Your daughter might think she’s talking to her best friend, but doesn’t realize three more people walked into the room. Teens have also been lured by strangers pretending to be a helpful friend when the real intent is to harm them.

Ask your son or daughter what examples they’ve seen…this will help start a good and empowering conversation.

5. Don’t Share Passwords

It’s easy for teens to trust their best friend with their password, but what if they stop being best friends? Or, what if the best friend shares that password with the wrong person? Talking about different situations that could arise from sharing passwords can be a useful reminder.

6. Online Friends Shouldn’t Meet in Person

This is probably an obvious tip to most parents, but very important to stress with your kids. It’s easy for teens to think the person they meet online is safe to meet in person.

Especially in situations where predators are involved. They know how to treat kids to build trust. Again remind your kids that you never really know who you’re talking to online. Their new best friend could be a 45 year old man, or someone else concealing their real identity. Stressing the importance of not meeting up with their online friends is key to your kids safety.

7. Set Online Usage Expectations

Finally, to keep your kids safe online, it’s important to set specific online expectations. Have a clear sense of what’s important to you and what rules you want to establish. Decide how much time you want them spending online, what social network sites you approve, how they can use their cell phone and what the consequences are if they don’t follow your expectations.

Most important for you as a parent is to begin using these tips and start an ongoing empowering dialogue to keep your kids safe online!

Carrie Silver-Stock, MSW, LCSW, is a social worker and the founder of Girlswithdreams.com, a social networking site that provides support, advice, and tips on the issues girls struggle with most. She is the award winning author of Secrets Girls Keep: What Girls Hide (& Why) and How to Break the Stress of Silence (HCI). Carrie is a frequent keynote speaker on issues facing teen girls and also on parenting teens.

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Teen Girls Unite to Empower One Another…

SFWJ — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 23:08:32 +0000

at World’s Largest Virtual Slumber Party!!!

by Carrie Silver-Stock, founder Girlswith Dreams.com

Carrie Silver-Stock

Girlswithdreams.com, is a social networking site that provides support, advice, and tips on the issues girls struggle with most. As the founder I want to create a global movement where girls discover their power, passion, and big dreams.

The mission is simple: girls will empower one another to build their best lives while learning how to take action and make a positive impact in their own lives and the world.

The World’s Largest Slumber Party

To support that mission, I worked with my teen advisory board to create an event that would unite teens nationwide. We are hosting The World’s Largest Slumber Party…the first VIRTUAL slumber party on November 14, 2009.

Streaming live from Slumber Party Headquarters in St. Louis, anyone with an internet connection will be able to watch and join the World’s Largest Slumber Party, Saturday November 14, 8p.m. CST. The night will include lots of fun things from DIY spa treatments, makeover tips, dancing, teen room makeover contest (sponsored by Artistic Sensations), fun food, and more!

The Pajama Program

In addition to bringing girls together, we also wanted to help the communities where Slumber Parties are being held. Since it’s a Slumber Party…The Pajama Program was a perfect fit! At each Slumber Party we will collect NEW pajamas for the Pajama Program, a non-profit organization that helps kids in foster care. Thousands of children of all ages are in need of NEW pajamas and books. Any size pajamas is great, they just need to be NEW!

Sign-Up Today to be a Slumber Party Captain in the SF Bay Area!

I hope you will join me in this fun and empowering event! There’s still plenty of time to sign up as a Slumber Party Captain to host your own slumber party and participate in this first of its kind event. We want to include as many girls from all over the country as we can. You can find out more on our Facebook group page or Slumber Party Captain page.

Slumber party captains who host their own party will be eligible for great prizes and all participants in the World’s Largest Slumber Party will be able to register to win a Teen Room Makeover!

Carrie Silver-Stock, MSW and LCSW, is the award wining author of Secrets Girls Keep. She is dedicated to empowering teen girls and helping them discover their unique talents. To learn more, please visit here website Girls With Dreams!

Six Keys to Help Teen Girls Handle Peer Pressure

SFWJ — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 13:11:44 +0000

by Carrie Silver-Stock

Carrie Silver-Stock

Every day the teen girl in your life faces many decisions. Some are as simple as deciding what to wear and how she will blend in with her peers at school, others may ultimately be choices between life and death.

Most girls face immense pressure to fit in and to be accepted by the crowd. As a parent in the sidelines it is painful and hard to watch.

The good news is, you can help. Whether you have a great relationship with her or not, use these six tips to alleviate the stress of peer pressure.

1) How does she handle peer pressure now?

Start by asking yourself these important questions. Can she think for herself? Can she slow herself down enough to think clearly? Can she disagree with her friends and be ok with it? Can she listen to her gut?

2) Remember she’s watching you.

She is never going to tell you she’s watching, but she is. She watches your conversations, reactions, and relationships. Maybe you had a difficult decision to make at work and were the only one who disagreed with the team, but you said so. Let her know and talk about what you did and how it was resolved. Your example will teach more than you can ever tell her.

3) Teach her how to think for herself.

Let her have responsibility and be involved in decision making. It also means she learns to listen to and follow her gut. Start with simple things like deciding which movie to go to or how to spend her weekend. When she has a tough decision, help her think it through without giving her the answer.

4) Watch for changes in behavior.

If you see any major changes in her behavior, pay closer attention to what is going on in her life and who she is hanging out with. This could be a sign that she is dealing with a lot of peer pressure and needs help.

5) Be a good listener.

The last thing she wants you to do is tell her how to solve her problems. Listen to her and let her know you’re there for her. Try asking open ended questions like what would be the benefits or the cons or making that choice? Who would it impact the most? What is your gut telling you to do?

6) Laying down the law.

Safety always comes first. It’s not always easy to lay down the law and follow through on consequences. If her peers are negatively impacting her and you are fearful for her, don’t be afraid to set the rules and stick to them.

Your daughter needs you. The peer pressure teens face today feels impossible to deal with at times, but having you on her side will make all the difference.

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