Great Sexpectations: 5 Reasons to Just Do It!
Katherine Forsythe
This month, we’re exploring the fourth feature on The Wheel of Sexuality©: Physical Sexuality. In the past several months, we’ve been chatting about our sexuality as a woman – the unique way each of us articulates our own womanhood.
by Katherine Forsythe, MSW
Intimacy, Sexuality, and Relationship Counselor
So far, we’ve talked about Life Wisdom, Intimacy, and Sensuality. At the end of this series, we will have examined 6 wedges that allow us to celebrate our individual sexual expression – who we are as a woman.
Nike has IT Right!
Physical sexuality means using your body for sexual enjoyment.
Nike has it right. Just do it! You are in the prime of your life: Have a great time!
There are very few reasons, other than what’s going on in your head, to deny yourself a great sex life – in whatever way is best for you.
I Have No Time for Sex!
I can hear the deafening silence as you, my reader, sit perfectly still, thinking to yourself: who is this woman, anyway, and what world is she in? I have no time for sex! Are you kidding me?
My sex life wanders somewhere in this obstacle course: flat tire in the bedroom … boring routines … exhausted … who has time for gold medal Olympic sex performances? I work full time. I’m a chauffeur for my kids. I have meetings, travel, demands, work. Sex? Seriously? When?
I know that some of you are blissfully sexually active. Congratulations! If not, you are not alone. It’s tough to find time, break the old routine. Sex is something that takes a back seat to the rest of your life at midlife. If you are in a committed relationship (or even if you are not), you will identify: Partner #1: Should I watch porn or golf? Partner #2: For heaven’s sake, watch the Porn. You already know how to play golf. The zip is gone.
Get Out of Your Head and into Your Body! Sex is GOOD for YOU!
I wave the white flag of truce. You’re right. You are busy. You are exhausted. You are bored with your partner. You don’t have a partner. Never mind any of that. Get out of your head and into your body. Listen up! Having sex is good for you!
Do you know that we sex experts can find no good reason for the existence of the human female clitoris other than pleasure? Not to mention that we have almost triple the nerve endings than a man has in his penis. Let’s celebrate, own it, and enjoy it!
Turns out that for all the male vibrato about sex, we women are blessed with equipment that allows a much deeper and profound pleasure. Don’t wait for a partner – take time to enjoy yourself on your own. If you engage with a partner, talk to him/her.
In many of my women clients, I have found that The Big Kahuna of sex, intercourse, is over rated. Most women will say that oral sex and touching can be just as pleasing.
Mix it Up and Explore!
Mix it up a little. Tell your partner what you like. Believe me, most men are clueless and have no idea how to ask you. (I recognize that this is not easy when beginning dating!)
Explore your own body. We are a rich reservoir of sensory delights. Besides touch, bring in all the senses from our last discussion into your bedroom: Sound (How about a CD of the ocean?). Sight (Visualize yourself on the sand. The brain can’t distinguish between a good fantasy and the real thing, by the way.) Smell (I found a candle the other day that was called “Beach grass”!). Taste (No Brainer: chocolate anyone?). Share this with your partner or just have a moment of your own.
5 Benefits of Sex
Still not convinced it’s worth the time? Take a look at all the benefits of regular sexual activity which may or may not include orgasm:
1. It’s good for your heart, can reduce pain in migraines and menstrual cramps, floods your system with hormones that encourage healing, and may (research is being done!) reduce breast cancer risk, cleanse your system, and strengthen your pelvic floor.
2. Wards off depression.
3. Good for a sagging body image: It increases your self confidence and self esteem.
4. Affirms us as beautiful, sensual women.
5. Good for your wallet. It’s recession proof! It’s FUN and FREE!
Sex was meant to be fabulous fun for a lifetime. Let the excuses go – get out of your head, and into your body. Own it! Use it! Enjoy it! Untold pleasures await you!
Next month, stay tuned … we will be talking about the next wedge of The Wheel of Sexuality©: dealing with doctors on the issue of sex. They may not be telling you what you need to know! See you next month!
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Category: Sex & Love
About the Author (Author Profile)
Katherine A. Forsythe, MSW is an expert in human sexuality, intimacy, and relationships. Her passion is to invigorate sexuality and intimacy. She work with clients privately – both in her office and by phone, presents keynotes, provides workshops, and appears regularly on radio and television. Her new book: Sexperienced: Guide for the Seasoned Woman Seeking New Possibilities will be released in April.
To learn more please visit her website, GetaSecondWind.com. If you have a question or would like to contact Katherine send her an e-mail or call her at (415) 702-9544. All inquires are strictly confidential! Be sure to mention the SF Bay Area Woman’s Journal, and receive 25% discount on your first session!
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[...] about it. In the past several months, we’ve talked about Life Wisdom, Intimacy, Sensuality, and Physical Sexual Expression (the actual act of sex). At the end of this series, we will have examined 6 wedges that allow us to [...]
[...] our individual sexual expression – who we are as a woman; Life Wisdom, Intimacy, Sensuality, Physical Sexual Expression, and last month Reproductive Health. This month, let’s take a look at Sexual [...]