Life Coaching: When “Great” Things Feel Bad

Nikki Anderson

How many times do people ask you about something in your life (your job, your family, your relationship, your car, home, etc….) and your response is, “It’s GREAT!” – especially if it’s ‘new’.  

Don’t things always feel great if they’re new?    I personally love when I get something I want (in the beginning at least).

by Nikki Anderson
Founding Partner and Coach at Think Feel Know

Is There Something Else?

I loved my new car when I first got it. I still like it a lot, but now it’s become just part of my life – it’s ‘just’ my car.  Nothing fancy or super-fantastic, just my vehicle that gets me from point A to point B.  

When I first started my business (and still, often today) when people ask me about my work, I respond with positivity – “things are good, or I love it….” (which I do, very much!)  Yet, there are also days when I don’t love it, or I don’t feel in sync with it…and I start to wonder. 

I think, is this what I’m meant to be doing or is there something else that would give me MORE satisfaction?   Maybe I don’t get a deal I want, a client ends their contract with me…, or I am simply not feeling ‘it’ that day.    Depending on many factors, this can either feel fine and natural as the cycle of life / business, OR it can feel bad and even devastating, leaving me questioning everything.

The Same is True for Relationships!

The same is true for relationships … as I’m learning.    I adore my boyfriend – for so many reasons.   Yet, an intimate relationship, I believe is one of those things that can turn on a dime from “lovey dovey sweetness” to sweet and sour goo. 

They say relationships put Miracle Grow on your character defects…and, I believe this to be true. 

While they can bring out my best, similarly they can bring out my very worst.  It usually starts out sweet, romantic and mysterious with no disruptive conflicts – this is what I call the honeymoon phase.   Until…the inevitable happens – disappointment.  With this can come hurt, frustration and sadness.  

Of course, nothing can stay forever in a state of bliss…at some point the energy will /does shift.    The relationship can still be GREAT but there are going to be moments, days or even longer periods of time where it will ‘feel’ bad.   

Ride Out Your Bad Feelings to See What’s on the Otherside

What I’m coming to understand (slowly), is that if I’m willing to ride things out – whether it’s a job or a relationship,  and sit through the feelings – no matter what they will pass – moving from ‘bad’ to ‘better’ then ‘good’.     They say time is the great healer…. And I believe this is true.  

How easy it is to make a snap decision and duck out of a situation because it stops feeling good.  But how valuable the learning and opportunity can be if you’re willing to ‘stick it out’ and see what’s on the other side.   You might be surprised what you’ll find by giving the ‘bad’ or uncomfortable feelings a little time.   

Here’s to life’s lessons!

Love,

Nikki

Sharing is caring…so if you enjoyed this article be sure to share it!

Tags: Career, dating, family, Know Yourself, Leadership, Small Biz, Wellness

Category: Live Your Best Life