Skin Hunger: The Power of Touch!

Katherine Forsythe

Yvonne strolls deliciously into her favorite hideaway. The maitre de knows her well, and immediately seats her and her enchanting guest next to the fireplace where they can chat intimately.

by Katherine Forsythe, MSW
Intimacy, Sexuality, and Relationship Counselor

The lighting is low, the music soft. The wine sparkles in her glass. She looks across the table and smiles warmly at someone very special. She longs to hold hands, but knows she won’t. She can’t.

It’s Saturday night and Yvonne is with her best girlfriend. At 45 years old, divorced, and single, Yvonne loves her life and has had many lovers. Lately, however, it’s been a dry season for love, sex, and touch.

Molly is lovely, but Molly is her friend, and she’s feeling a void, too. They drink a toast, and the evening begins.

The talk turns to moodiness, anxiety, and the possibility of Perimenopause. They laugh that the only touching they get these days is from their dogs or their kids – and now that the boys are teenagers, there’s not much hugging anymore.

The Power of Touch Helps Us Thrive!

As women at midlife, the whirlwind that is our lives doesn’t leave much time for us, and that leaves us anxious and depressed. That’s not news. What is news, however, is that the anxiety we feel may not be peri-menopause at all, but a deprivation of the sense of touch.

Our bodies and our brains depend on our senses of sight, sound, smell, taste and touch for joy, comfort, and red-flag danger warnings. We know babies develop failure to thrive without touch. We’re aware that deprivation in the elderly leads to more depression, illness, and death.

But What about Busy Women at Mid-life?

No surprise, here. Adults, like Yvonne and Molly and you, need touch to stay healthy. Most of us understand that, but we don’t grasp it in life and death terms.

We miss being touched in a loving way, but never appreciate it as an actual need. The fact is that it is as much of a need as eating, drinking, and breathing.

The lack of touch has repercussions throughout our physical and mental selves. Look at the mood and personality swing you feel – or being sick a lot lately, tired, depressed, and just not radiating the happy person that you normally are. Forget the feminine life-cycle explanation; skin hunger may be playing a big factor.  

Are You Getting Touched Enough?

Think about your life. Are you getting touched enough? My bet is no. Whether you’re married, single, no matter what your sexual orientation, human connection that comes from sharing bodily warmth with someone else is a critical need.

I’m not talking exclusively about sex as THE form of touch that feeds skin hunger.  Getting the “touch” you need to be healthy can be as simple as sharing energy with another human being in non-sexual ways.

In part two of this article, I will share several tips that easily add the power of Touch to your life!  Till then pay more attention to how much touch there is in your life.  Your happiness depends on it.

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Tags: relationships, sex, Wellness

Category: Relationships