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Is Your Relationship Dead or Alive: Relationship vs Relating

SFWJ — Wed, 28 Jul 2010 11:37:12 +0000

Rick Snyder

Why is it that most of the time, people talk about their relationship but very few people actually pay attention to how they are relating? What I mean is this: the idea or concept of relationship becomes a step removed from the actual quality of connection that is happening moment to moment.

by Rick Snyder
SF Bay Area Therapist and Life Coach

Relationship is a Noun

We often relate to our “relationship” is as if it is a static, solid thing. We “thingify” it.

“Yeah, we’re working on our ‘relationship.’” “The most important relationship in my life is……”

If you feel into it, you can feel the heaviness of how the relationship has become a fixed concept, a thing to deal with, even if it’s to celebrate.

What goes missing; is the reality that a relationship is alive, always changing, and happening moment to moment.

As soon as we relate to our relationship as a thing, we begin to deaden it ever so subtlety until one day, it actually begins to feel like a relic – even when we are still in it!

Relating is a Verb

The most alive question of all is to begin feeling into how you are relating in this moment. What is the quality of your relating? Can you feel the spark? The attraction? Even the dullness? What’s happening as he looks you in the eyes, and you turn away?

Even if you feel into what you’re not sharing with your partner, by bringing awareness to this moment you focus your attention on the quality of relating that is happening right now. Shifting and bring aliveness to the quality of your relating only happens in the present moment.

Begin tuning in to how you are tuning in.

The Juice of Relating and the Dryness of Relationship

Relating is an alive verb that is constantly occurring in each moment. It is the only place where a real transaction or exchange is happening. Otherwise, we are relating to our relationship as an idea. And that means it’s already somewhat fixed, dead or a concept vs. an alive experience to…experience. We assume we know what our partner will say next, and miss each opportunity to bring a freshness to our experience.

So continue asking yourself, how am I relating right now?
Rick Snyder, MA, Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) and MFT Intern, is a life coach and therapist in private practice in the San Francisco Bay Area. He is as also a course leader for the Authentic Man Program and The Transformational Coaching and Leadership Training.

Rick is passionate about helping men, women, and couples discover their purpose, power, and aliveness in their careers and in their relationships. Drawing upon his background in Somatic Psychology, Emotional Body Awareness, meditation, and martial arts, Rick also infuses his work with humor, providing an uplifting and potent blend of profound awareness, authenticity, and play. For more information, check out Rick’s services at RickSnyder.org.

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Furniture for Small Spaces: Storage Magic!

SFWJ — Mon, 26 Jul 2010 18:29:47 +0000

Beryn Hammil

In my last article Secret’s to Decorating Small Spaces, I shared some tips on how to look at the floor plan of the smaller space you’re considering. It’s important to give some thought to how the space will support your lifestyle. Another significant aspect for you to consider is…storage.

by Beryn Hammil
SF Bay Area Interior Designer

As you can imagine, condo or apartment living presents a storage challenge. Fortunately, furniture manufacturers have considered this lifestyle change as they design new lines. People, who are downsizing, as well as young apartment dwellers, are the beneficiary of this change in design direction

Furniture that Works Magic as Storage

Almost every piece of furniture has the potential to give you a place in which to store stuff. Ottomans have tops that lift off to provide storage inside the cube. Some even have tops that become serving trays! Beds have drawers built into the framing underneath the mattress as a place to store either clothing or seldom used items. Media cabinets have lifts built into them so the flat screen TV doesn’t have to be visible if you don’t want it to be seen 24/7.

Remember the piano bench whose seat lifts up to store sheet music? Well, now there’s even a chaise whose seat lifts up to provide storage underneath it too!

Small dwelling denizens have much to choose from when it comes to practical furniture.

Sleep options are endless: we’re all familiar with sofas that convert to beds and wall units that tilt down to become beds (the Murphy bed). Both have been around for decades. Now there are club chairs that convert to single beds, sofas that convert to bunk beds, and narrow window seats that pull out to become full size beds.

Furniture too can be as flexible as kids’ Transformer toys: console tables expand into dining tables, coffee tables lift to become dining tables, small cabinets open to reveal beds, and mirrors magically become wall-mounted flat screen TVs.

If it can be imagined, it probably exists. And if it doesn’t already exist, there’s someone out there who can make it for you.

This variety of options makes a smaller home seem as if it has more space in which to live, and without all the hassle of a larger house.

To downsize one’s living space is now the “cool” thing to do, no matter what your age. And with all these clever ways to make a smaller space more practical, even people who don’t need to downsize are choosing to live smaller. Perhaps it’s a sign of the times, but whatever your motivation, it’s something you can embrace with both arms.

Beryn Hammil is the owner of Beryn Hammil Designs, a San Francisco Bay Area Interior Design and Decorating Firm. She is known for “creating spaces people love coming home to every day.” As a designer, Beryn listens carefully to her clients’ needs, and then expands on them to create the homes that people enjoy living in for years after the work is complete.

Beryn is a member of ASID and is known throughout the Bay Area for the “Design Dilemma” columns she writes for the San Francisco Chronicle’s Home & Garden section. Her interior design and remodel projects are as compelling as her written ideas. To learn more please visit her website BerynHammil.com, connect with her on Facebook or follow her on Twitter.

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Increase Your Energy by Check’n Out to Check Back In!

SFWJ — Mon, 19 Jul 2010 12:09:16 +0000

Nikki Anderson

This past week was one of ‘those’ weeks. I had to get a lot done in a short amount of time with less energy than ‘normal’. During these times, there are always two voices that speak to me.

by Nikki Anderson
Founding Partner and Coach at Think Feel Know

The first goes something like this, “Just push through it- get another cup of extra strength decaf so you won’t have to feel so tired. After all you need to get this done if you want to be successful.”

The second voice sounds like this, “If you want to do quality work, you need to take a rest and honor your health. Everything will be fine, EVEN if you take a break.” At different times both voices sound incredibly compelling. However, as of late the later has been more prevalent albeit a bit scary to trust.

Listen to What Your Body is Telling You

Sometimes as women, our energy level dips. At least mine sure does. And, I always have the choice to try and mask what my body is telling me with preservatives, caffeine, extra doses of vitamins, and I’m sure I could come up with more ‘additives’ to keep me going.

The thing is do I really want to do this to myself? Is ‘success’ or my ‘image’ so important that I’m willing to sacrifice my health?

Good Health AND Success at Work

Or perhaps I could have both – success and conviction around honoring my health and energy. I forget that this doesn’t necessarily have to be an ‘or’ decision – it’s this way OR that. I can make this an ‘AND’ decision.

That said, I am clear that honoring my health AND my work is not always the easiest or the most convenient choice. Sometimes this means I need to get an extra nap in my day or not stay after a work meeting for the after-work-dinner. Or call it a day at 5PM EVEN when there are a million more things to do.

But in the end, to my surprise, I’m finding that taking the time out for me and my health lets me re-fuel my tank. And it helps me get clearer and more concise about where and with whom I’m spending my energy. The bottom line, I become more efficient when I take time to check out!

Here’s to a time out for both of us! After all, we deserve it and so do our bodies!

Nikki
Nikki Anderson is a founding partner and a coach within Think Feel Know, USA. Her specialty is working with entrepreneurs, executive women, teams within small to medium sized businesses that are ready to grow to the next level. She is skilled at coaching individuals and groups and facilitating workshops, trainings and meetings to elicit connection, unity and clarity, resulting in forward action and bottom-line results.

Nikki is passionate about many things in her life although, at the core are health and wellness – her foundation. She is active in 12-step recovery work and is passionate about helping others to not only overcome their addictions but also to thrive in their life. You can learn more by visiting CoachNikki and ThinkFeelKnow.

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How to Write a Marketing Message using Compelling Sound Bites

SFWJ — Tue, 13 Jul 2010 13:27:53 +0000

Ellen Looyen

A well-crafted marketing message should be made up of “sound bites” that emotionally connect and move people into action. Emotionally compelling sound bites are a critical tool for building a charismatic personal brand and for writing marketing materials that turn prospects into paying customers!

by Ellen Looyen
Personal Branding and Marketing Strategist

A “sound bite” is a way to string words together that will connect your marketing message to both sides of your prospect’s brain.

The words that you use to describe what you do and the benefits your product or service deliver, need to connect first to the emotional right side of the brain…to leave people with a positive feeling. Then their left-brain needs to justify and rationalize that good feeling, by believing in the promise of a tangible benefit and guaranteed results, before a sale can happen.

The right-brain thinks in pictures and is always in the present moment. That’s why using emotionally compelling sound bites (for brand-building, writing marketing materials and for use in sales presentations) is so effective.

The left-brain, on the other hand, wants tangible results and benefits because it thinks linearly. Your left-brain is always asking “what in it for me”; and it’s all about the past and future. The left-brain carefully categorizes and organizes all information and associates it with our past, or projects info into the future.

So the sound bites you use for writing your marketing materials need to first grab someone’s emotional attention; and then they need to justify the claim, logically, in order to back it up, so the left-brain is also satisfied that it’s actually getting a tangible result.

Describe what’s in it for your clients…

For a sound bite to work, it must do double duty—connect emotionally first, and later it must make logical sense and answer (in a very tangible and beneficial way): what’s in it for your client.

You can compose sound bites for your marketing materials with:

♦ a fascinating phrase
♦ an interesting fact
♦ an anecdote of human-interest
♦ using emotionally charged language

The first step to creating your own sound bites is to think about what you want your clients to do, think, or know.

Take a moment to answer the following questions.

♦ What do people need to know?
♦ How can I help them?
♦ What action do I want people to take?

Here are some examples from clients of mine, using some of the above suggestions:

♦ A Professional Organizer said: “80% of the paper you keep is never referred to again.”

♦ A Management Consultant, who specializes in team building and organizational development, said: “How you make others feel, is the most important factor in the quality of your relationships.”

♦ A Financial Planner said: “It’s never too early or too late to develop a customized plan for accumulating wealth.”

♦ A Nutritionist said: “I will help you show hungry who’s boss.”

♦ A Landscape Architect said: “Landscaping is the only investment that’s guaranteed to grow.”

♦ A Marketing Consultant said: “Not spending money on marketing is like stopping your watch to save time.”

Here are some more tips for writing compelling Sound Bites, followed by a real-life example:

1. Angle your message to the kinds of people you want to attract…

“We have a customized workout plan for busy people who can’t find the time to exercise.”

2. Demonstrate how you can solve their problem…

“Cosmetic dentistry doesn’t have to be expensive—it can be as simple as whitening and shaping.”

3. Ask a gripping question, for which you have the answer…

“Are your people driving your business where you need it to go?”

4. De-bunk a commonly held belief/myth…

“Working with a professional image consultant is not about buying all new expensive clothes…it’s about how you put your look together with what you already have.”

5. Connect emotionally first, and logically later…

“Experience the self-empowerment of being a published author…I’ll show you how, with my easy, step-by-step writing process.”

The hardest thing about writing marketing materials is creating emotionally compelling sound bites. Hopefully, I’ve given you several good starters…so grab your laptop and fill in some of the phrases and questions from above. Even if you can’t create a professional marketing message, hopefully, you will, at the very least, get an enhanced sense of your own value and have a few more ways to communicate it out into the world.

Join Ellen and learn more about Personal Branding at her July 27^th National Tele-Seminar,

“The Art of Personal Branding: How to Emotionally Connect to Your Market & Sell with Charisma“, sponsored by eWomenNetwork.

Ellen Looyen,“America’s Leader in Personal Branding” has been in her own Branding, Marketing and Training business since 1988. She has helped all types of businesses (from entrepreneurial start-ups to major corporations, like Chevron and Kaiser Permanente), discover their unique Brand identity and articulate their value in a compelling and charismatic way. Learn much more about branding-building and creating a charismatic marketing message by visiting Ellen’s website: www.ellen4branding.com .

Work/Life Balance: 3 Ways to Make More Time for Your Family!

SFWJ — Mon, 12 Jul 2010 17:25:41 +0000

Kristin Southwick

Part 3 of my series on “Work Life Balance, The Juggling Act” is a very critical one…How to create quality time with your family while also meeting work demands, finding time to rejuvenate yourself, and continuing to foster relationships.

by Kristin Southwick
CA Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

I have found that many people I work with struggle to find time to spend with their loved ones. Busy family schedules add to the feeling of impossibility and stress of creating family time together.

However, I think what’s most important is not the quantity of time, but the “quality of time”.

Consider these 3 suggestions to help you create quality family time:

1. Family Dinner Nights

Although schedules can be tricky, make it a priority to have at least three dinners together a week. This will be a great way to catch up on each other’s day-to-day life. It is essential during this time to turn the cell phone and TV off, and put Facebook away!

Use this time to talk with each other and open the lines of communication between family members. Ask each person to discuss what’s important to him or her or something special about his or her week. This is a great time for parents to acknowledge their children and each other for their successes.

One way to engage the entire family is to have each person take a turn choosing his/ her favorite meal and help prepare it. If weekdays are a bit hard to get everyone around the dinner table, take advantage of free time during weekends. This will build a wonderful family tradition that your children will look back on and cherish. And who knows…one day they may even continue the tradition with their own families!

2. Family Trips

Traditional weeklong family vacations may be difficult to take during this economic downturn. However, family trips are a wonderful way to bond, create memories and are something all family members look forward to.

A simple, fun and less expensive alternative may be a weekend trip. Or consider less expensive outings, such as camping. You can always pitch a tent in a back yard or even your living room for a fun adventure!

Encourage everyone to participate in all the details from planning through execution so that they feel their suggestions are important and validated.

3. Family Nights

Planning a weekly evening with the family can be relaxing and enjoyable. Renting movies, playing games, going for bike rides or to the park, picnicking at the beach, attending local sporting events are just some ideas. Allow each member a chance to pick an activity so his or her interest is recognized. This insures that every family member feels included and equally important.

I hope these suggestions spark some creative ideas to help you easily plan and enjoy time with your family. With a little thought, family time can be fun and exciting, without spending a lot of money.

No matter how you decide to spend time with your loved ones, remember to talk, laugh, and turn off all the distractions around you.

Not only will this improve the “quality” of those precious moments, but it let’s all family members know that you cherish your time together!

Kristin Southwick is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with the CA Board of Behavioral Science and received her Master’s from John F. Kennedy University. She has a private practice in San Francisco and Burlingame.

Kristin believes therapy is a meaningful experience that offers a supportive and confidential space to explore aspects of one’s life and relationships. She provides brief and long term counseling services to children, adolescent, adults, couples, and families. For more information regarding Kristin’s practice, please visit her website, KristinSouthwick.com.

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Decorative Painting: The Fine Art of Client Collaboration

SFWJ — Thu, 08 Jul 2010 20:20:33 +0000

Deborah Disman

In my world of site specific Decorative Painting, every project is a collaborative effort that is designed to translate the Client’s inner vision into concrete visual form.

by Debra Disman, Decorative Painter

I am not alone in this effort. When I look around on a job site, interact with designers, architects, contractors and craftspeople, and observe real estate agents and property specialists, I can see that everyone working with Clients has this goal in mind.

Clients are Our Key Collaborators!

When I worked with a delightful couple poised for retirement from distinguished academic careers, I observed the collaborative nature of their relationship with their realtor Robin Miller, “Realtor Robin, The Nest Finder” who referred me to them.

A True Collaboration

Clients Debra and Gil embraced the magic of decorative painting as one means to create the unique wine country home they had in mind. I listened carefully to what they said, and then offered ideas and suggestions on how to use my work to achieve their vision.

At its best, the creative process with Clients is give and take, a true collaboration. Debra and Gil named their new home “Windstone”, and commissioned signage above their front door. They researched fonts, and I chose metallic hues that I felt would pull out the lettering, and integrate with the colors, treatments and design of the adjoining room.

Together we worked on color choices and custom treatments designed to marry the existing architecture with the sense of clarity, warmth and elegance they desired in their new “dream” home. During the process, I helped them hone and clarify their vision, and offered feedback and support on their choices.

Said Gil, “We feel so reassured about the direction of our decisions….it helped us so much that you liked the choices we had made…– you give us confidence!”

Capturing a Unique Vision

A botanist by training, Gil not only designed an actual vineyard for their backyard, he and Debra also presented me with an original quote to be lettered over their wine bar niche, in which a vineyard mural was painted. As with all projects, I showed Samples of styles, scale and colors for them to choose from.

The Sampling process is crucial to enable Clients to get a sense of what the finished application will actually look like in their environment. It is this attention to detail that will produce the desired effect. As a site specific Decorative Painter, this is the Client response I seek:

“You …captured our vision….But even more so, you added so much “texture and depth” to our concept by providing insights and ideas that will truly transform our home into a special wine country manor.”

Have FUN, while Exceeding Expectations

Gil and Debra are accomplished cooks, and their kitchen tray ceiling cried out for a treatment that would enhance it as an architectural detail, add warmth, depth and interest, and reflect the copper accents throughout the room. The warm coppery orange colors also stimulate the appetite!

When Debra and Gil affirmed that I was “able to artfully capture our vision for Windstone and make it even better than we could imagine.” I knew that the goal of translating their inner vision into concrete visual form had been realized.

However, when they declared, “THAT WAS SO MUCH FUN!”

I knew we had transcended the goal of our work, and had met one of the needs of our soul: to share our skills, talents, and creativity, and have a blast in the process!

Long after our work was complete, Gil and Deb confided, “We tell everyone what an enjoyable experience it was…” Clients should look back upon our collaboration as a wonderful experience! This spells success, as much as their appreciation and enjoyment of the colors, finishes and treatments now gracing their home.

May you always meet the goals of your work while satisfying the needs of your soul, and enJOY every moment of the process!

Debra Disman’s passion is to translate her Client’s inner vision into concrete visual form. She can help you use the magic of decorative painting to transform your home, place of business, even your community!

She is principal of ArtiFactory Studio, a decorative painting company based in San Francisco, CA which provides custom decorative painting, murals, and color consultation to customers from all backgrounds and walks of life. Debra holds a degree in painting from the University of Iowa and has studied in France, San Francisco, and San Diego. She is a provisional member of the International Association for Colour Consultants/Designers and serves as the Color Muze for blog talk radio’s Artistically Speaking Radio. To learn more please visit ArtiFactoryStudio, or connect with her on Twitter or Facebook.

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Relationship SOS: Asking for What You Want

SFWJ — Tue, 29 Jun 2010 17:36:17 +0000

Rick Snyder

A common theme that shows up in many love relationships is learning how to own and stand behind your individual needs and desires. Most individuals and couples that I work with don’t know how to ask for what they want.

by Rick Snyder, Therapist and Life Coach

Learning to Ask for What You Want

If you don’t ask , your behavior shifts from caring and loving to disinterest and neglect. You may begin looking elsewhere, withdraw and then get resentful, shutdown, become aggressive or make demands and try to control your partner. All of these have the impact of derailing your communication and subverting your relationship. And in many cases this is exactly the opposite of what you really want!

Learning to ask for what you want in a relationship is intimidating. But getting in touch with and expressing your needs is fundamental to both your health and relationships.

3 Actions to Help You Gain Confidence

Here are three actions that you can take to help yourself grow and gain confidence:

1. Invest in the Process

You have to be willing to invest in the process – meaning, how can you challenge yourself to first – be aware of what your needs are, and second, feel the courage to express them to your loved one?

So many of us feel as though we don’t deserve to have certain things, or hope that our partner will intuit what we want so that we don’t have to actually ask, etc. It takes tremendous courage to be honest with yourself about your own needs and then take the brave step of sharing that with your partner. Especially if you have tried to do this and did not get you what you wanted.

2. Own What You can Control and Let Go of the Rest

Recognize that you can only control yourself and your emotions…period. Once you state your needs, recognize that how it is received is out of your control. Wanting what you want, and coming to terms with letting go of the outcome may feel uncomfortable.

From a personal perspective, some of the most powerful moments for me have happened as a result of just claiming what I want, regardless if I get it.

Here’s the most important thing for you to remember as you ponder this…the “cake” is in the ownership of the desire! The icing is if you actually get it.

3. Understand Your Motivation

Dig a little deeper and you will find the real gold is in exploring your motivation. Are your needs coming from healthy or unhealthy motivations?

An example of an unhealthy motivation is the need coming from a younger part of you…translated…you may still want something from “mommy’ and “daddy”. This need is typically way off the radar screen. And yet it is a very real situation that shows up in my practice.

You’re looking to your intimate partner to fill a void. When this happens, a Daddy-Daughter or Mother-Son dynamic is unconsciously set up and it will eventually cripple the relationship. Who really wants to be in an intimate relationship with mommy and daddy?

A thriving peer-to-peer relationship happens when you begin to understand where your need or desire is coming from and can then act on it in an authentic manner.

This makes all the difference in a healthy, thriving, and sexy relationship!

Aliveness in relationships is about taking risks. Allow yourself to be vulnerable, to feel into you’re desires. Make sure it aligns with your healthy motives and be willing to share and ask. This is what brings the fulfillment you’re looking for. Getting your needs meet from this authentic place is wonderful!

Stay tuned for my next article…if you’re still struggling with this issue!

Rick Snyder, MA, Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) and MFT Intern, is a life coach and therapist in private practice in the San Francisco Bay Area. He is as also a course leader for the Authentic Man Program and The Transformational Coaching and Leadership Training.

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Plan Your Wedding: It Starts by Choosing the Right Venue!

SFWJ — Mon, 28 Jun 2010 14:47:35 +0000

Laurel Winzler

We all think of June as the month for weddings. In fact, here in the SF Bay Area the fall is more popular, due to the good weather we experience in September and October. No matter when your wedding is; it all starts with choosing the right venue!

by Laurel Winzler
Floral and Event Designer

Starting the Process

If you’ve recently planned any type of party or social event, you understand how expensive it is to entertain in the Bay Area. The cost of venue, food, rentals, flowers, photography and entertainment is far beyond what most people anticipate. Many a bride finds herself immediately torn between the idea of the “dream wedding” she’s always wanted and the hard reality that it may exceed her budget.

No one can expect to “have it all” despite the costs. A wedding involves the efforts of many talented and experienced professionals, and the fees they charge can’t be negotiated away. Nor can the costs of materials, labor and transportation be compromised on.

No matter how much a bride wants top quality, unless she’s prepared to pay for it some trade-offs will need to be made.

It All Starts with Selecting the Right Venue!

The first thing that every bride does is select a location for her ceremony and reception. Every other aspect of the wedding is dependent on the venue, so making this first choice be the right choice is extremely important.

Event venues come in two types: commercial entities like hotels, restaurants and private clubs; or free-standing event spaces like mansions, social halls, art galleries, etc.

Commercial spaces offer the advantage of one-stop shopping, where things like food and beverage, rentals, audio-visual and cake are part of a package at a per-head cost for each guest. Independent venues (called “off premises” sites) typically offer nothing more than an empty space where every item for the wedding needs to be brought in by an outside vendor.

Many people opt for the all-inclusive approach because it means less leg work and fewer decisions. The disadvantage is that there will be less variety and flexibility in what’s offered, and it may seem less “personal” to the couple.

By contrast, an empty mansion offers endless possibilities for food and decor, but also many more details that need to be addressed and coordinated. And therefore more work and stress for the couple.

Understanding your personal priorities will help you make the right choice at the beginning of the planning process.

Do It Yourself?

As a result of financial pressures, many couples are saving money by working with family and friends to “do it yourself” on some aspects of the wedding. Many wedding magazines and other media are also encouraging this approach – which has its pluses and minuses.

On the plus side, you can reduce spending by creating your own floral decor, or by eliminating flowers altogether and opting for other types of decorations such as paper garlands, candles, lanterns, etc. to fill the space.

The downside of do it yourself is that you may be taking on tasks that are more complicated or time-sensitive than you realize, which will definitely add to your last-minute stress. You also may be burdening family and friends by pressing them to help out, thereby reducing their enjoyment of the wedding.

There’s a reason why professionals charge what they do. It’s important to balance the aggravation and stress of DIY ideas vs. the cost of having someone else carry that burden for you.

Striking a Balance

Without a doubt, the best way to contain costs in planning a wedding is to LIMIT THE GUEST LIST !!! This has the biggest impact on overall expenses, since the costs for venue, food, alcohol, rentals, cake and decor are directly tied to the number of people who will be attending. By keeping the head count fewer than 100 people, a bride has a better chance of getting the quality of event she wants, and has many more creative and interesting options to choose from.

As is so often the case, the best approach may be moderation. Determine what your priorities are – food? music? flowers? – and allocate a realistic amount of your budget to cover those elements. Decide where you can scale back your expectations, to have what you need but perhaps not what your “dream” would be.

And always keep in mind that you’re planning a party, so keeping it fun for you and enjoyable for your guests is the highest priority of all!

Laurel Winzler left a career in the legal world to establish her successful floral and event design business, Laurel Designs. She has built a reputation for innovative and exciting designs, serving clients from Bay Area brides to the San Francisco Symphony. Drawing on years of experience as a performer and artist, she specializes in working with each client to enhance the beauty of their homes, offices and special events.

Laurel is a preferred vendor at many exclusive Bay Area event venues, and donates her time and talents to many organizations, including San Francisco Opera, Special Olympics, Make-a-Wish Foundation, the Community Music Center, Project Inform and the Junior League of San Francisco. In addition, she is a sought-after speaker at hospitality industry events. Please visit her website, flaurel.com, to learn more.

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Grow Your Small Business with the Art of Giving and Receiving!

SFWJ — Fri, 25 Jun 2010 15:54:37 +0000

Elinor Stutz

Are you able to give and receive?

Over the past couple of years, I changed my business development model of “going it alone” to that of collaboration. There was indeed a learning curve involved.

by Elinor Stutz, CEO Smooth Sale

I smile now as I hear the discussions of so many who say they find it hard to “receive”. In my former days, many others and myself included had the opposite problem. We found it difficult to “give”.  As salespeople we kept to ourselves for fear our competitors would discover our secrets.

Find the Balance of Giving and Receiving

Luckily I awakened to a new reality. Should you truly wish to attract sales, one of the better strategies is to find that balance of giving and receiving. An excellent first step is to find groups online whose discussion topics are complementary to your business model.

Take an active role by answering questions that speak to your specialty. By doing so others will automatically be drawn to your expertise making your business development effortless. As you become comfortable with the group, you may then confidently pose your own questions and receive the help you need. 

Next, find a collaboration or mastermind group comprised of people with similar goals and complementary services. The giving and receiving should be natural for all. Learning both from the expert information available along with a dedicated collaborative team will help you achieve your goals far more quickly.

Grow Your Business with Less Effort

As your activities and relationships build, you will find increased attention from new prospects and clients. When your mindset is focused on delivering your expertise freely and helping those in need, it becomes a marketing message that you are there to serve. Your reward will be receiving greater opportunities than previously thought possible. It’s an entrepreneurial dream to conduct business with much less effort.

Take My Challenge to Find: 

1. Social media groups to join discussions 

2. Collaborative partners 

3. Brainstorm new ideas for products & services with your new team(s)  

When you work openly you will not only attract more sales, but will also have more fun and enjoy the Smooth Sale!
Elinor Stutz is CEO of Smooth Sale, LLC sales training company. Based in Petaluma, CA she is available for team training, coaching, motivational speaking and includes the Smooth Sale product line as part of her program. Her book, Nice Girls DO Get The Sale: Relationship Building That Gets Results, published by Sourcebooks sells worldwide.

Elinor welcomes your questions through e-mail or phone: (415) 615-6887 or (800) 704-1499. To learn more please visit her website and blog for her latest insights. You can also follow her on Twitter!

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Secrets to Decorating Small Spaces!

SFWJ — Tue, 22 Jun 2010 14:35:12 +0000

Beryn Hammil

Now that the children are grown and are out on their own, many people are considering moving to smaller living spaces.

Moving to a smaller home may initially be challenging for a variety of reasons, including emotional, but smaller spaces can be better. For most people it offers a more practical lifestyle; there’s less to manage, clean, and maintain. Of course, there’s also less space and accompanying expenses to pay for too.

by Beryn Hammil
SF Bay Area Interior Designer

Consider this When Planning Your Move to a Smaller Home

Before you commit to a smaller space, look at the floor plan of your potential new home and make sure there’s enough space in it for you to create an inviting home. Ask yourself a few key questions:

Does the kitchen afford you all the amenities you need to function effectively in it?
Is the living room large enough to have a separate dining area?
Does the house or apartment have enough closets?
Do you really need a guest room that’s not used most of the time? Or can a guest room be a library, study, or media room whose sofa opens to a bed on those rare occasions when you have overnight guests?

Answers to these questions will help you make a wise decision about your new home.

CREATE THE ILLUSION OF SPACE

Rooms within Rooms

One of the best ways to make a smaller home seem larger is to arrange your furniture to create “rooms within rooms.”

For example, did you know that a sofa can also be a room divider? Instead of putting it against a wall facing into the room, put it in the room perpendicular to the wall so that its back is facing towards part of the open space of the room. This visual separation can effectively make a living room and dining room out of one space. Two rooms for the price of one!

To help reinforce this divided room concept, place a console table (with ottomans under it for extra seating when you need it) or a credenza (it can provide storage space) at the back of the sofa. Add a pair of console-height table lamps on top of it and put some of your favorite accessories in between. This provides lighting for the sofa area as well as ambient light for the new dining room.

The newly created dining area is perfect for socializing when friends join you for a lovely dinner. Additionally, your dining table also gives you and your guests a place to sit and play cards or board games.

Furniture that Serves Multiple Purposes

Back to the living room area; be sure you have enough seating for guests and to give yourself a change of place in which to sit. Swivel chairs, comfortable in and of themselves, also give you the opportunity to face in a different direction without having to rearrange furniture. Very practical for a small home!

A coffee table is a necessity, but can occupy lots of visual space. A glass table on the other hand, is still a functional surface but without taking up so much “eye” space. Alternatively, consider a coffee table that has ottomans stored under it as part of its design. When you have guests, the ottomans are wonderful for quick seating, and grandchildren love to make secret forts out of them!

Mirrors Create the Illusion of More Space

Mirrors are another wonderful way to make a small space appear larger. Instead of mirroring an entire wall, think about a large, framed mirror as a major element on a wall in the room. It can literally create the illusion of twice the space, and with its frame, it seems like a work of art in and of itself.

Close the Door and Away You Go…NO Worries!

Downsizing to a smaller space used to be a word that struck terror in the hearts of homeowners. Not so much any more. It’s now an opportunity to live a freer lifestyle. More people are looking forward to being able to just lock the door and go on a trip without a worry about who will water the garden and watch the old homestead. That’s reason enough to give up the large house in exchange for a smaller space in which to live a more carefree life.

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