San Francisco Womens Journal » Know Yourself

Women’s Sexuality: The Joy of Touch and other Sensual Delights

SFWJ — Tue, 27 Jul 2010 21:39:32 +0000

Katherine Forsythe

Ooooooh, yes! Touch me there, again! This month, we’re exploring the next major ingredient on The Wheel of Sexuality: Sensuality.

by Katherine Forsythe, MSW
Sexuality & Intimacy Educator

This is the third article in a series about the Wheel of Sexuality - 6 wedges in a wheel that contribute to how we play out our sexual lives as women. The term sexuality is an umbrella term over all 6 unique wedges, or categories for articulating our womanhood.

It gives us a format for honoring and celebrating our individual and unique expression of sexuality. The first wedge was Life Wisdom and last month we examined Intimacy.

In this article, we go a little deeper, into Sensuality. That’s an “s”, not an “x” in the middle of the word.

Where did your mind take you when you read this month’s title? If you’re like most women, it depends on your mood. If you were playing with your kids, you thought of tickling. If you just had a massage, it’s what you told your therapist. If your partner just got home, and you’re both not totally exhausted, it’s playtime!

It doesn’t matter if we’re tickling, kneading a tight muscle, or messing around in bed, the need for touch is universal. We all know the studies about the baby monkeys that died for lack of touch. In human beings, severe depression and even death are linked to sensory deprivation.

What does all of this have to do with our sexual selves?

Lots! All five of our senses are deeply connected to who we are as women and show up in how we express our sexuality. Paying attention to all 5 senses is critical for mental and sexual health.

The Importance of Touch

Touch is the most obvious. We like to be hugged and held in a certain way that’s special to us. Whether it’s during intimacy or the hand massage during a manicure, the way we liked to be touched and caressed, the sense of touch is unique to each one of us. It’s directly connected via our brain to our hormones of desire and arousal.

Everyday touch doesn’t evoke the same sense of arousal that we experience during erotic touch. (Thank goodness – can you imagine evolving into erotic arousal every time touch was pleasurable?). No, the brain sorts it out for us, so we can enjoy the many ways touch shows up in our lives.

Sight, Hearing, Taste and Smell

The other 4 senses: sight, hearing, taste, and smell – beg for our attention all day long.

If you’re feeling down, take a look at sensory deprivation. Your brain is asking for help! All day on the computer? Your brain is craving sensory satisfaction other than sight!

For our purposes, that means gratifying a new sense that addresses your womanhood. Give yourself a spray of your favorite perfume! Put on music that jolts you into a great memory, leaving you grinning from ear to ear. Indulge in a morsel of dark chocolate, and let it take you into romance, poetry, delight: “As sweet as the music of children’s laughter, as pure as the heart of a child…” said by Domingo Ghirardelli, no less!

It’s all about feeling good, as a woman. We are blessed with brains that differ from our male counterparts, as any multi-tasking woman will tell you. We can connect to our 5 senses – all 5 at once if we want total pleasure – in a way that lifts us up as the beautiful woman that we are. Your mood will change for the better. Your ‘tude will pick up. And, who knows, you might just morph into physical sexuality with someone special because you feel good all over.

Speaking of physical sexuality – that’s next month’s topic! Tune in, learn how your sexual expression is a precious gift, and pick up a few tips along the way. Until then…enjoy your sensuality!
Katherine Forsythe, MSW, is committed to bringing joy and insight into relationships, intimacy, and sexuality for women at midlife and beyond. Through her blog, consulting, and speaking, she inspires us to redefine and invigorate intimacy and relationships on our terms, as we mature.

Her post graduate work includes San Francisco State’s Institute for Human Sexuality. Kat is credentialed by AASECT – the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors, and Therapists. Please visit her website, GetaSecondWind, to learn more.

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Astrology: 5 Ways Leo Stokes the Creative Fires

SFWJ — Wed, 21 Jul 2010 12:45:20 +0000

Jamie Kahl

Leo (July 22-Aug 21) is the most creative, expressive sign, there is, and that’s a gift! This can be hard to remember when your friendly neighborhood Leo is being loud and showing off.

by Jamie Kahl , SF Bay Area Astrologer

But the real purpose behind bad Leo behavior is to get in touch with one’s playful, innocent inner child, open up creativity and express one’s real self. Leos at their best are friendly, effusive, warm, welcoming and authentic. Here’s some advice for Leos (and the bit of Leo in the rest of us) on the path to self-discovery and creative expression:

1. Be appropriately self-centered.

This is a delicate balance. Love yourself without arrogance as a flawed-but-beautiful human being: one of many, all of equal importance, holding yourself as your own special charge. You are the shepherd of your own self, the guide of this body, this mind, this heart, this soul, this being. Cherish this person you were given to be.

2. Shine on everyone.

Leo knows a very special secret: that attention is the most valuable commodity in the world. Everybody wants some and almost everybody wants more than they are getting or a different quality of attention than they’re getting. When your Leo side is badly-behaved, it will pull you to grab attention—any attention at all. When your Leo side is healthy, you give attention as the Sun gives sunshine—naturally, because you cannot help it, and because you simply love to share.

3. Be a role model.

Be a leader. Stand up, be seen, be visible. Chief obstacles to this include embarrassment and fear of looking silly. But don’t let them stop you! If people don’t have other people to look to, how can they learn to live? If there’s something you’ve figured out about how to live an excellent life, model that, be that, show that to the world. I’ll betcha someone around you needed to see it in action.

4. Play.

Be a child. Have fun. Get so absorbed in what you are doing that you forget how others see you. Engage others in the fun you are having. Taking a playful approach to just about anything opens up creative channels and allows for relaxed, right-brain thinking.

5. Never underestimate the importance of your unique, authentic creativity.

Leo exists to remind us that the individual point of view is important. Modern physics tells us that the center is everywhere—and nowhere. This means the center of the universe resides in you just as powerfully as in anyone. Your point of view matters, and the creative flow that can come forth only from you and you alone is absolutely crucial to the workings of the whole.

Give Leo credit. It’s not easy to be your truest, most authentic self in front of God and everybody. That’s scary stuff. Occupy your whole social footprint—no more, no less, and the Leo in you will be happy.

* You don’t have to “be” a Leo to feel like one. Everybody’s got at least a little Leo inside (and sometimes a lot); even if their actual “sign”, (i.e. Sun sign) is something else.

Read more about Leo on Jamie’s Astrology and Personal Empowerment blog.

And if you’re not a Leo, check out Jamie’s other articles on Gemini, Taurus, Aries and Cancer!

Jamie Kahl is a professional astrologer with 30 years of study and 18 years of practice in Berkeley, CA. She specializes in showing women the power of feminine archetypes in everyday life. She does readings for individuals, couples and families. She also teaches classes in person in Berkeley and online.

Jamie believes that every human being contains the seeds of greatness, and that your astrology chart is the finest shortcut to accessing it. Using your chart as the “owner’s manual for being you,” Jamie can help you have satisfying relationships, enjoy career success, discover your life purpose and navigate your path in ways tailored to work uniquely for you. Learn more at Pandora Astrology.

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Increase Your Energy by Check’n Out to Check Back In!

SFWJ — Mon, 19 Jul 2010 12:09:16 +0000

Nikki Anderson

This past week was one of ‘those’ weeks. I had to get a lot done in a short amount of time with less energy than ‘normal’. During these times, there are always two voices that speak to me.

by Nikki Anderson
Founding Partner and Coach at Think Feel Know

The first goes something like this, “Just push through it- get another cup of extra strength decaf so you won’t have to feel so tired. After all you need to get this done if you want to be successful.”

The second voice sounds like this, “If you want to do quality work, you need to take a rest and honor your health. Everything will be fine, EVEN if you take a break.” At different times both voices sound incredibly compelling. However, as of late the later has been more prevalent albeit a bit scary to trust.

Listen to What Your Body is Telling You

Sometimes as women, our energy level dips. At least mine sure does. And, I always have the choice to try and mask what my body is telling me with preservatives, caffeine, extra doses of vitamins, and I’m sure I could come up with more ‘additives’ to keep me going.

The thing is do I really want to do this to myself? Is ‘success’ or my ‘image’ so important that I’m willing to sacrifice my health?

Good Health AND Success at Work

Or perhaps I could have both – success and conviction around honoring my health and energy. I forget that this doesn’t necessarily have to be an ‘or’ decision – it’s this way OR that. I can make this an ‘AND’ decision.

That said, I am clear that honoring my health AND my work is not always the easiest or the most convenient choice. Sometimes this means I need to get an extra nap in my day or not stay after a work meeting for the after-work-dinner. Or call it a day at 5PM EVEN when there are a million more things to do.

But in the end, to my surprise, I’m finding that taking the time out for me and my health lets me re-fuel my tank. And it helps me get clearer and more concise about where and with whom I’m spending my energy. The bottom line, I become more efficient when I take time to check out!

Here’s to a time out for both of us! After all, we deserve it and so do our bodies!

Nikki
Nikki Anderson is a founding partner and a coach within Think Feel Know, USA. Her specialty is working with entrepreneurs, executive women, teams within small to medium sized businesses that are ready to grow to the next level. She is skilled at coaching individuals and groups and facilitating workshops, trainings and meetings to elicit connection, unity and clarity, resulting in forward action and bottom-line results.

Nikki is passionate about many things in her life although, at the core are health and wellness – her foundation. She is active in 12-step recovery work and is passionate about helping others to not only overcome their addictions but also to thrive in their life. You can learn more by visiting CoachNikki and ThinkFeelKnow.

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Astrology: Cancer Excels in Emotional Intelligence

SFWJ — Wed, 23 Jun 2010 12:21:04 +0000

Jamie Kahl

Do you know why Cancers (June 21-July 21) are so lovable? Emotional intelligence, that’s why! This sensitive Water sign quickly learns that life is all about feelings. Here’s just some of the great stuff Cancers learn as they swim through life’s waters.

by Jamie Kahl , Astrologer

Know What You are Feeling

One of the first and best pieces of knowledge that a smart Cancer learns is how to tell the difference between an emotion, an intuition and a mood. An emotion is any feeling you have. An intuition is a feeling you should pay attention to, even if you don’t know why you are having it, because it’s trying to guide you. A mood is a passing feeling that you don’t want to act on, because such impulses lead to bad choices.

Smart Cancers know the difference!

Manage Your Emotions

Knowing how to manage your own emotions springs directly from knowing the differences between kinds of emotions. When you know why you feel what you feel, then it’s easy to know what you should do about that (or not).

Suppose you just met someone and you took an instant dislike to him. Is that because there’s something creepy about him or is that because you’re in a sensitive mood or is that because they remind you of somebody who was mean to you years ago?

Each situation calls for a different response and you need to know how to choose.

Sympathy and Empathy

An emotionally intelligent Cancer is adept at sympathizing and empathizing with the emotions of others. Cancers are naturally supportive and sympathetic, which gives them an edge when it comes to establishing rapport and connecting with others. Being able to feel-with and feel-for others binds them to you.

Cancers are great bonders.

Cancers Value Love

Cancers value love and the ability to love above being right or being strong. They are not usually stoic people. A Cancer would usually rather be connected to someone they love, even if that connection is painful, than be shut out. Cancers are not usually interested in superiority or in dominating (unless they’ve got a Leo streak).

Loving, connecting and bonding and feeling-with are high on their value scale.

Channel Emotions in Ways that Make a Difference

As a Cancer matures, she becomes able to channel emotions into life in ways that make a difference. As soon as she’s comfortably situated, or at least oriented (and sometimes even before!) she looks around for things that need nurturing and she begins pouring love, care and thoughtfulness into those things. And whether those things include babies, gardens, businesses, projects, people or pets, under the loving gentle rain of Cancerian care, they cannot help but blossom.

It’s not necessary to have your Sun, Moon or Rising in Cancer to develop intuitive ability. Every human being alive has Cancerian emotional intelligence. Cultivate yours and watch your world flower!

* You don’t have to be a Cancer to be a Cancer type. That’s because you could be a Leo (or any other sign) yet have a bunch of planets in your chart in Cancer—enough to tip the balance and leave you feeling more like Crab than Lion.

Read more about Cancer on Jamie’s Astrology and Personal Empowerment blog.

And if you’re not a Cancer, check out Jamie’s other articles on Gemini, Taurus and Aries!

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Shift to a Brighter Perspective by Taking the Bigger View!

SFWJ — Wed, 09 Jun 2010 21:55:17 +0000

Do you ever have those days where you had every intention of doing the ‘right’ thing yet nothing went as planned …. Or even worse, it went ‘wrong’.

by Nikki Anderson
Founding Partner and Coach at Think Feel Know

Today was ONE of Those Days!

Today was one of those days for me. First it was an exchange with my boyfriend that was meant to be warm and fuzzy and instead was cranky and disgruntled. Then I was told that something I did wasn’t satisfactory to someone else when I ‘know’ I went above and beyond to deliver excellence to this person.

Then I accidentally sent an email to the wrong person…. And, the icing on the cake was burning part of my dinner (that I was going to serve to my boyfriend too).

It truly was one of ‘those’ days. Thankfully, no one was hurt and nothing was life threatening to myself or anyone else involved. Yet, when I’m in the throws of a day like this, it can seem like everything is bad and all hope is lost…d-r-a-m-a! Yes, it can feel very emotional.

Shift into a Brighter Spot by Taking the Bigger View!

What I’ve learned over time is we ALL have days like this and sometimes even weeks …It’s life!

No matter who you are, how much money you have, how great your sweetie is or how much you love your job – we ALL have days we’d like to order a “do over!”

I’ve also learned that taking a bigger view on my life will shift things into a brighter perspective. For example, does burning a part of dinner for my boyfriend mean that we’re going to split up? NO. In fact, we laugh over it ….and as it turns out he prefers to cook for us.

And, do many of my clients enjoy and get great value from my services? YES. And, in fact, many refer me to others in their network. Most important, am I healthy with wonderful friends and family in my life? Yes, blessed beyond belief.

Focus on the Whole Truth…versus the Small Stuff

In other words, focus on the WHOLE truth. There’s a bigger picture to every situation.

Yes, it is easy it is to get side swiped and carried away with things that go wrong and turn the feelings into a global perspective making EVERYTHING in your life seem bad/wrong….which, of course, is never true.

In the end, all is fine as long as I can remember that it’s small stuff…it’s ALL small stuff. I’m ok, you’re ok … we’re all doing our best and some days are going to be ‘those’ kind of days.

Here’s to the EZ days,

Nikki

Nikki Anderson is a founding partner and a coach within Think Feel Know, USA. Her specialty is working with entrepreneurs, executive women, teams within small to medium sized businesses that are ready to grow to the next level. She is skilled at coaching individuals and groups and facilitating workshops, trainings and meetings to elicit connection, unity and clarity, resulting in forward action and bottom-line results.
Nikki is passionate about many things in her life although, at the core are health and wellness – her foundation. She is active in 12-step recovery work and is passionate about helping others to not only overcome their addictions but also to thrive in their life. You can learn more by visiting CoachNikki and ThinkFeelKnow.

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Create Peace and Productivity in Your Life with White Space Time!

SFWJ — Tue, 08 Jun 2010 12:37:30 +0000

Do you need less stress or more results? Most women need both! And many of them are finding a little “air pocket” where they can create both peace and productivity.

It’s called White Space Time!
(You can read this article in the SF BAWJ magazine here.)

by Michelle Lisenbury Christensen and
Sara Harvey Yao

It’s a special kind of appointment with yourself: you protect it from any pre-set agenda. Crazy as it sounds to block out an hour (or three) when you don’t plan to do anything in particular, it really helps women find equilibrium and get amazing things done.

Your To-Do List Expands to Fill Your Time

Have you noticed that your to-do list expands to fill the time you have? That you feel like you never have a moment free?

Take an open or “white” time on your calendar and block it so it STAYS open! Then when you get to that appointment in your calendar, you will find a gift to yourself…freedom.

You now have time before you, and the opportunity to ask, “What do I really want to do with this time? What do I need right now?” If you’re disciplined enough to give yourself full permission to follow those desires (instead of checking e-mail or ticking off errands that aren’t your deepest desire), surprising things begin to happen.

White Space Makes Time for Amazing Things to Happen

One of our clients needed to get a marketing plan created. What he really wanted to do during his White Space was go to the driving range. Within two days, he got a great idea for the marketing plan, because he’d cleared his head while hitting golf balls.

Another began writing again after a long dry spell, because she used her White Space to daydream about her perfect life and realized she needed a space to write in. Right then – because she had the time – she cleared a spot in her guest room and created a nook where she now writes each morning.

Come Up for Air with White Space

White Space is a place to come up for air during your busy work week. It helps you to not feel so “behind,” the same way a $100 bill in your wallet makes you feel abundant, even if you don’t spend it.

Here’s How You Do It:

1. Find a block of 1-4 hours (more, if you dare!) that’s not already committed, and reserve it. Take it from “blank” on your calendar to an appointment – with yourself.

2. If any other uses for the time come up, deflect them. Tell others you’re committed. Remember that this time is deeply important, even if it feels indulgent.

3. Show up.

4. Give yourself permission not to be productive, not to do it “right,” not to meet any pre-conceived linear notion of what you should do.

5. Ask yourself, “What would I really like to do with this time?”

6. Do THAT.

Take the White Space Challenge

People who’ve committed to taking White Space at least once a week for three weeks have reported phenomenal changes in their energy, focus, and feelings of satisfaction. You can read some of their stories at whitespacetime.com. We hope you’ll join them and let us know what happens when you take the White Space Challenge.

Michele Lisenbury Christensen and Sara Harvey Yao are the authors of “Succeeding without Side Effects: Burnout-Proof Your Leadership and Life” and the “White Space Time” audio program. They help business owners and executives create more success with fewer side effects. Their retreats and seminars for women are transformative and deeply rejuvenating. They can be found online at WorkingWithPower.com .

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Secret Confessions of a Branding Expert: Branding Blunder #1…“The Coke Blunder”

SFWJ — Thu, 03 Jun 2010 12:35:04 +0000

Remember many years ago when Coca Cola (the most recognizable Brand in the whole world) decided to improve on a good thing? For some reason, they wanted to tamper with their success and change the Coke formula (of the #1 selling Cola in the world).

by Ellen Looyen
America’s Leader in Personal Branding

After 22 years of successfully branding divisions of major corporations (like Kaiser, Chevron and Wells Fargo), to launching countless start-ups, I thought my own brand was feeling tired, old and out-of-date…and just like the Coca Cola Executives (who wanted to change their successful formula), I tampered with my own successful brand and lived through my own “Coke Blunder” and my subsequent “Coke Classic” brand resurrection.

Why tamper with success, when branding is all about…
consistency, uniqueness and emotional connection?

It all started when I was invited to speak at the Ritz Carlton in New York City last year, by The Conference Board (at a Senior Executive Marketing Conference, where I was on a panel with the President of Rolls Royce America and Google’s top Marketing guy) to discuss “The Future of the Brand.” They actually gave me the brand name I now use, “America’s Leader in Personal Branding” (that’s how they wrote me up in their conference program).

What was I thinking?

For some reason, I decided that I needed to update my brand for the marketing conference; and after 22 years of success as Ellen Looyen Communications, I thought I should match my business name and its look and feel (i.e., it’s brand) to the name of my recently published, DIY Personal Branding Kit, entitled, “Branded with Charisma.”

“Doctor, heal thyself”…and Branding expert, “Do not re-brand yourself (especially if your brand is working for you)”…

I now know, that at the time, I was having the branding equivalent of a “mid-life crisis”…I felt adrift in my business, not clear, re: where I wanted to focus my marketing efforts; bored with my own brand, overwhelmed by the whole new online world of social media and in need of some big changes in my business.

“In a world where you can be anything…Be Yourself!” –Anon

I also felt like I needed to feel more relevant to a younger demographic. Not to get too psychologically deep here…but…I was trying to appeal younger and more hip, instead of highlighting my 22 years of experience and wide range of expertise, which could help younger people build, launch and sustain a successful brand (just like I had over the long haul).

The important “take-away” is that we all create our own versions of the Coke Blunder…and just like Coke did, we can pick ourselves up, admit that we made a mistake and go back to Plan A. Some of my clients actually admitted to me that they almost didn’t hire me, because my new cartoony brand image did not seem to fit me!

Perception can be managed…and VALUE is only a perception!

Branding is all about thinking backwards…about how you want to be perceived by your market…and then crafting a brand that’s emotionally connecting, authentically representative of the real YOU and consistent over time.

You’ll know it when you find it…it should just fit like an old glove. Once you discover and articulate your true brand, people will energetically feel your enhanced confidence (the #1 reason people buy and choose anything); and any uncertainty or doubt about hiring you will simply vanish.

So take a good, honest look at your brand and see if some minor “tune ups” are in need to help keep you relevant, but true to your core value and values at the same time.

Ellen Looyen, “America’s Leader in Personal Branding” has been in her own Branding, Marketing and Training business since 1988. She has helped all types of businesses (from entrepreneurial start-ups to major corporations, like Chevron and Kaiser Permanente), discover their unique Brand identity and articulate their value in a compelling and charismatic way.

Please visit Ellen’s new/old brand and website at: www.ellen4branding.com and let her know what you think about returning to her old (Coke Classic), tried and true, brand. Send her an e-mail or pick up the phone and call her (925) 284-5828.

Reserve your space for Ellen’s popular SF Bay Area Summer Branding & Sales Intensive (6 Wednesdays, June 23—July 28 in Point Richmond, 10am-4pm).

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Success Tool: Step beyond Exam Anxiety with Hypnotherapy!

SFWJ — Tue, 01 Jun 2010 13:26:00 +0000

This week a wonderful email landed in my inbox. It was Annie announcing the opening of her acupuncture office. She’d achieved her dream! And hypnotherapy helped make it come true.

byJane Ransom, Certified Hypnotherapist

Exam Anxiety Blocks Achievement of…
Your Goals

More than a year ago, Annie had failed the state board exam for acupuncture. The day-long test is notoriously hard. Many people fail it the first time around. But Annie is a highly self-disciplined and intelligent young woman who knew the material inside out.

Her problem was exam anxiety. And so, last December, she came to see me. She was signed up to retake the state boards in February, and wanted to know if hypnosis could dispel her anxiety. Short answer: Yes!

Some people suffer their whole lives from exam anxiety. Occasionally we can trace the cause back to a harsh upbringing. But just as often, there’s no clear origin; the fear takes on a life of its own. Indeed, it usually gets worse with time.

How Anxiety Takes Control of Your Mind

Whenever the person goes to take an exam, their sympathetic nervous system kicks in, putting the test-taker into “fight-flight” mode. Their heart speeds up, they perspire, their blood rushes to their inner organs. This is helpful if you’re in mortal combat or fleeing a saber-toothed tiger. But it’s no good for focusing your logical mind or accessing memory.

Each time the experience reoccurs, the subconscious mind forms a stronger association between exam-taking and “fight-flight.” A snowball effect occurs. Soon the anxiety is triggered when the sufferer merely thinks about taking an exam! Even studying becomes fraught with fear. The constant anxiety causes exhaustion, yet sleep can become elusive as insomnia adds to the snowball.

Annie’s doctor had prescribed Paxil to quiet her nerves, but the drug impaired her ability to concentrate. As her date to retake the exam approached, she was going off the Paxil and she wanted my help. We began in December with a two-hour session to condition her to sleep well at night without drugs. We agreed she’d come back in January to begin five weekly sessions to prepare for the exam.

Retraining Your Subconscious Mind

During each session we “desensitized” her to studying and test-taking. In every session, I had her visualize in great detail her studying routine and the day-long exam. The key was having her imaginatively experience those events while in a state of deep relaxation induced by hypnosis.

In that manner, I coaxed her subconscious mind to let go of the negative association between test-taking and anxiety, and to replace it with a positive association involving relaxation. Her subconscious mind learned to associate studying and test-taking with relaxation, mental focus and recall.

On the day of the actual exam, Annie felt calm and confident, able to access her full mental powers. By the end of the day, she knew she’d passed. Weeks later when scores were officially announced, she called to share the good news.

Ecstatic, she exclaimed, “This is the beginning of my new life!” It will be, among other things, a life free of exam anxiety.
Jane Ransom, MA, C.Ht., conducts hypnotherapy sessions in her downtown San Francisco office, as well as by phone and online web-cam. She helps clients with a multitude of health issues, including weight loss, chronic pain and smoking cessation, and she also leads clients to achieve career, sports and artistic success.

As a public speaker, Jane offers talks and workshops on how to boost self-confidence and motivation, improve relationships and invite inspiration. For more information, please visit Jane’s website, HypnotherapyThatWorks.

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5 Ways Gemini Looks…and is SMART!

SFWJ — Tue, 25 May 2010 12:57:03 +0000

What is it about Gemini types (May 21- June 20) that make them appear so smart?

How is it that they slide through school without even appearing to try? Sometimes it looks like magic, the way a Gemini type* can finesse those multiple questions tests and even the essay tests and dazzle teachers with their knowledge.

by Jamie Kahl
Astrologer

Here, in a smashing celebration of Gemini goodness, is how they do it . . .

1. Love information. It’s true that Gemini types are naturally drawn to facts, data and information. I’m speaking now to you, Gemini Girl.

You are most likely, of all the signs, to win at Trivial Pursuit and then to modestly proclaim that your knowledge is useless. But you seek it anyway. You can be enthralled—and persuaded—by statistics.

Let’s face it: ferreting out, ingesting, remembering and ultimately sharing information is beyond a hobby with you. It’s a way of life.

2. Grasp the surface concept quickly. And then move on to the next idea. Don’t linger too long or dig too deeply.

Sure, there’s more there—there always is. But you don’t need to get caught up in it. The Gemini intelligence knows that the main idea is enough. If you can grasp it, remember it, and produce it when you are asked, you can build a wealth of facts that are useful in an everyday way. And you can pass tests.

3. Engage other minds in conversation.

Practice your ability to get ideas across to other minds (with other mental styles) and to hear their ideas. Ask questions that put the attention on the other person. Genuinely want to know the answers.

It’s a paradox that half of looking smart is in making others look smart. Don’t pay too much attention to whether you look smart because you probably do without trying.

4. Be the dilettante you are. Gemini, you are good at many things.

You’re an excellent mimic. You develop your own style by trying on the style of others. You are a Renaissance woman—embrace it. Enjoy it. Gemini has a short attention span, but is this really a problem in the modern world? More of a necessity, I’m thinking, because those who can’t think fast get left behind. That very distractibility can be used to your advantage—keep it fresh, keep it light, keep your mind moving.

5. Dwell in wonder. Be endlessly curious. To be Gemini is like having an eternal child-mind: “What’s that? And what’s that?” and the big one: “Why??”

Gemini wants to eat up life-experience with the brain. For Gemini, life is a road made of questions. When a Gemini thinks she has the answers, some part of her deeply curious, extremely mobile brain shuts off. And that’s a shame, because this sign’s sense of wonder is immense and it’s a great gift to have and to share with others.

So the next time you stop to absorb an interesting idea, instead of just filing it away, ask yourself a question about it. Enjoy the mystery, even as you are penetrating it with your understanding. Thanks, Gemini, for eating up information and then offering it to the rest of us in bite-sized pieces.

Please consider this:

* You don’t have to be a Gemini to be a Gemini type. That’s because you could be a Taurus (or any other sign) yet have a bunch of planets in your chart in Gemini—enough to tip the balance and leave you feeling more like Twins than Bull.

And if you’re not a Gemini or just curious to learn more about astrology, check out these articles on Taurus and Aries.

Read more about Gemini on Jamie’s Astrology and Personal Empowerment blog.

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Take Control of the Juggling Act: Work versus Home

SFWJ — Thu, 20 May 2010 13:56:32 +0000

Many of my clients tell me that keeping perspective day to day is challenging when you’re managing many different roles. Being a wife, a mother, a friend, as well as managing a career, and finding the time to also honor and take care of your own needs is a massive juggling act for every woman.

by Kristin Southwick
CA Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

How do you balance these competing roles and keep your head above water without feeling depleted at the end of the day?

This article is part 1 of a 4 part series that will help you learn ways to create structure and balance in your life. Today we’ll focus on the workplace. Future articles will discuss finding time to nurture and care for yourself, ways to balance relationships, and family life.

Career Demands versus Home Demands

A common issue that I often hear is the high-stress conflict of dealing with career demands and expectations while balancing that with home demands and expectations. One of the best ways to help yourself navigate these two key issues is to set boundaries. Start by developing clear boundaries around your work life. Whether in a corporate setting, your own home, or anywhere in between you should be realistic and clear with yourself about what you can feasibly accomplish.

5 Tips to Help You Balance Your Work Life

1. Listen to your body. Your body will give you some great clues into how you are affected by external factors. For example does your stomach turn or do you clench your teeth when you think about the conflict of going home at a reasonable hour versus staying to finish a high priority assignment? Let your body guide you to set limits where you can. If that means leaving at a certain time of day, then prioritize your tasks and focus on what needs to be completed before the end of the day.

2. Create boundaries that will help you manage others who are pressuring you into taking on more than you feel comfortable doing.

For example, if something is asked of you that goes beyond your job role and duties, a clear limit will help you be prepared with an appropriate response. Tell the person you will get back to them with an answer. This allows you to walk away from the situation, take a moment to consider what is being asked, and how long it will take to complete the task. It also provides an opportunity to consider if the time investment is one that will have a positive career impact.

3. Offering to do more than expected at your job can cause you to end up feeling overwhelmed and resentful. But it’s easy to get caught up in the moment and “accidentally” put yourself into that situation. Work at implementing helpful strategies that support you on these kinds of occasions. Try counting to 10 before you jump in or perhaps you need to take 5 minutes to step away, catch your breathe and then decide the next steps.

4. Ask for others to help if too much responsibility is being put on you and be open with what you need to successfully complete your job.

5. Lastly, it is essential to remember that when you have multiple assignments being given to you in a day or even an hour, it’s important to create a structure that will help you manage your workflow. If you’re feeling overwhelmed or that you just need a break then allow yourself to take 5 minutes to just breathe and catch-up. The key is to not procrastinate and to help yourself stay focused and organized.

Renewed Energy

You’ll find an abundance of renewed energy when you take more control of your work life. I would like to encourage you to start by considering these suggestions. Just choose one idea that resonates with you and add it into your day to day responsibilities. You’ll be amazed at how much that one little action will help you to feel more in control of your life and feeling renewed energy for yourself, your family, and your relationships!

If you enjoyed this article, you can find Part 2 of this series on Work Life Balance…Making Time for You here!

Kristin Southwick is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with the CA Board of Behavioral Science and received her Master’s from John F. Kennedy University. She has a private practice in San Francisco and Burlingame.

Kristin believes therapy is a meaningful experience that offers a supportive and confidential space to explore aspects of one’s life and relationships. She provides brief and long term counseling services to children, adolescent, adults, couples, and families. For more information regarding Kristin’s practice, please visit her website, KristinSouthwick.com.

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