Women’s Sexuality: The Joy of Touch and other Sensual Delights

Katherine Forsythe

Ooooooh, yes! Touch me there, again! This month, we’re exploring the next major ingredient on The Wheel of Sexuality: Sensuality. 

by Katherine Forsythe, MSW
Sexuality & Intimacy Educator

This is the third article in a series about the Wheel of Sexuality  - 6 wedges in a wheel that contribute to how we play out our sexual  lives as women.  The term sexuality is an umbrella term over all 6 unique wedges, or categories for articulating our womanhood.

It gives us a format for honoring and celebrating our individual and unique expression of sexuality. The first wedge was Life Wisdom and last month we examined Intimacy.

In this article, we go a little deeper, into Sensuality. That’s an “s”, not an “x” in the middle of the word.

Where did your mind take you when you read this month’s title? If you’re like most women, it depends on your mood. If you were playing with your kids, you thought of tickling. If you just had a massage, it’s what you told your therapist. If your partner just got home, and you’re both not totally exhausted, it’s playtime!

It doesn’t matter if we’re tickling, kneading a tight muscle, or messing around in bed, the need for touch is universal. We all know the studies about the baby monkeys that died for lack of touch. In human beings, severe depression and even death are linked to sensory deprivation.

What does all of this have to do with our sexual selves?

Lots! All five of our senses are deeply connected to who we are as women and show up in how we express our sexuality. Paying attention to all 5 senses is critical for mental and sexual health.

The Importance of Touch

Touch is the most obvious. We like to be hugged and held in a certain way that’s special to us. Whether it’s during intimacy or the hand massage during a manicure, the way we liked to be touched and caressed, the sense of touch is unique to each one of us. It’s directly connected via our brain to our hormones of desire and arousal.

Everyday touch doesn’t evoke the same sense of arousal that we experience during erotic touch. (Thank goodness – can you imagine evolving into erotic arousal every time touch was pleasurable?). No, the brain sorts it out for us, so we can enjoy the many ways touch shows up in our lives.

Sight, Hearing, Taste and Smell

The other 4 senses: sight, hearing, taste, and smell – beg for our attention all day long.

If you’re feeling down, take a look at sensory deprivation. Your brain is asking for help! All day on the computer? Your brain is craving sensory satisfaction other than sight!

For our purposes, that means gratifying a new sense that addresses your womanhood. Give yourself a spray of your favorite perfume! Put on music that jolts you into a great memory, leaving you grinning from ear to ear. Indulge in a morsel of dark chocolate, and let it take you into romance, poetry, delight: “As sweet as the music of children’s laughter, as pure as the heart of a child…” said by Domingo Ghirardelli, no less!

It’s all about feeling good, as a woman. We are blessed with brains that differ from our male counterparts, as any multi-tasking woman will tell you. We can connect to our 5 senses – all 5 at once if we want total pleasure – in a way that lifts us up as the beautiful woman that we are. Your mood will change for the better. Your ‘tude will pick up. And, who knows, you might just morph into physical sexuality with someone special because you feel good all over.

Speaking of physical sexuality – that’s next month’s topic! Tune in, learn how your sexual expression is a precious gift, and pick up a few tips along the way. Until then…enjoy your sensuality!
Katherine Forsythe, MSW, is committed to bringing joy and insight into relationships, intimacy, and sexuality for women at midlife and beyond. Through her blog, consulting, and speaking, she inspires us to redefine and invigorate intimacy and relationships on our terms, as we mature.

Her post graduate work includes San Francisco State’s Institute for Human Sexuality. Kat is credentialed by AASECT – the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors, and Therapists. Please visit her website, GetaSecondWind, to learn more.

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Related posts:

1. Beyond “Just Do It”…What Women’s Sexuality Really Means!
2. Great Sexpectations: 5 Reasons to Just Do It!
3. What does Life Wisdom have to do with Your Sexuality?
4. Intimacy: Loincloths, Clubs, and Conversation…the Beginning!
5. Skin Hunger: The Power of Touch!

Posted on 27. Jul, 2010 by SFWJ in Sex & Love

Tags: dating, Inspiration, Know Yourself, love, Marriage, sex